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Luton Town Deducted 30 Points; Made to Play in Clown Costumes

Billy Ray - Chief Sports Reporter

 

League Two minnows Luton Town have been dealt another demoralising blow after the FA decreed their recent 30 point penalty was insufficient, and has ruled the club must play in clown costumes for the duration of the season after they were found guilty of Clown1numerous counts of financial irregularities.

Clown's PocketFacing a battle to retain their football league status, their cause will not have been helped by the decision. Many players are complaining of the ill-fitting garments leading to a lack of mobility, itchy and sweaty wigs, pockets containing metres of tied-together tissues, and in some cases; coconuts and live animals. The club's fans are also disgusted by the latest turn of events, with one particularly angry supporter claiming that wearing the replica clown costume to away matches would make them "the laughing stock of the division". Jewell not a mincerThis cruel and unusual punishment has caused outrage amongst many clubs from the Premiership and Coca Cola Leagues. Derby manager Paul Jewell was particularly scathing in his criticism of the clown2FA "They tried to do the same thing to us last year. They claimed we were bringing the game into disrepute by getting battered every week and tried several times to make us wear these ludicrous outfits. This penalty is harsh, unfair, and should be reconsidered. These suits don't live in the real world. Lets not mince words, they're turning football into a ruddy circus" Showboating

Matters weren't helped when the squad protested the outcome by driving to FA headquarters in a tiny car and getting out one by one on the steps of Soho Square. On the pitch however; things got off to a bright start with their first pre-season friendly ending in a 3-1 victory against touring Russian side Moscow State XI. Manager Mick Harford singled out several individuals for their excellent performances, most notably midfielder Steve Robinson whose ball juggling skills were sublime, although accusations of showboating were not completely unfounded. On more than one occasion he pretended to slip over clumsily before finally putting striker Ryan Charles through on goal to bag the third and seal the win.

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